Falling in love with solo travel
I love exploring new places and cultures (especially by partaking in the local cuisine and libations). The energy is different in every new place that I explore. Solo travel has become such an important part of my life that I wanted to share a few words of encouragement with women who may be sitting on the fence about solo travel, whether partnered, with children, or single.
Although solo adventures are on the rise, it’s still intimidating to many, as it was for me.
For many years, if I could not find a travelling companion, I stayed home. Then I came across a book (with a slightly cringeworthy title) that changed my life—On My Own: The Art of Being a Single Woman by Florence Falk. This one volume helped me find the courage to travel alone and lead a richer life.
One of Florence’s central messages is simple and obvious: do the stuff you want and stop waiting for someone else to join you. Putting aside my anxiety, I embraced the message and made my first solo excursion to Montréal. It was a safe choice, close enough to home that, if I hated it, I could easily jump onto a plane or a train to return to my hometown's safety. It was also a city I had been to already, so it wasn’t completely foreign.
Initially, my biggest fear was eating by myself. Work travel didn’t often require me to dine solo, so the thought of eating dinner alone, when most dine with others, gave me anxiety. What would people think of me? Putting my fear aside, I decided on a lovely French bistro, Bonaparte.
I asked the maître d’ to seat me at the bar, as I was dining alone, leaving a table for a couple. To my delight, the maître d’ convinced me to take a window table so that I could enjoy the foot traffic of le vieux Montréal. He then offered me a special red wine they didn’t usually serve by the glass. I happily obliged. It was beyond delicious (despite my best efforts, I have never found that bottle in Ontario).
It was the best evening. I didn’t once open the book I brought with me, and spent my entire dinner watching the people wander the streets. I occasionally glanced at my fellow diners, and you know what? Not one of them was looking at me, as I had feared. They were all engaged with their companions and enjoying their meals. Nobody cared one little bit that I was by myself; they were all rightly absorbed in their own special evening, just like me.
Years later, I returned to Bonaparte with friends and met him again. My friends told him how highly I had spoken of him and the impact he had made on my life. His small, kind gesture opened me to taking many solo adventures. In fact, the following year, I explored Portugal alone for 11 days, exploring the country and culture by car.
One maître d’s generosity helped me overcome a fear that kept me from embracing what is now an essential part of my life.
I am a solo traveller, it’s part of who I am now, and I treasure it. I still enjoy trips with a partner, friend, or family member, but it’s easy to miss out on experiences when your interests diverge. And there are some dreams on which I will not compromise.
If you’ve let fear hold you back from exploring this wonderful world, I truly hope this piece might serve as a slight nudge towards adventure. Consider these words a small attempt to pay it forward, like an extraordinary maître d’ did once for me.
Alysia Christiaen
Creator of CFW² and a child-free woman.
