We Said It: And We’re Standing By It
Not every meaningful conversation starts politely — some begin in the comment section. This series shares real responses left on my posts about being child-free, not to provoke or defend, but to examine what they reveal. The comments reflect the assumptions, discomforts, and truths that still shape how a person’s decision to be child-free are received. I’m sharing them because they’re honest, because they’re instructive, and because saying the quiet part out loud is often the first step toward change.
“Wish more people would talk about [deciding to be child-free] so we’re more comfortable accepting our feelings if we don’t want kids”
“I applaud [John Cena’s] honesty and not following societies expectations. They said, if he was a women he’d likely be vilified.”
“If we can’t be great parents this decision is better.”
“Yes young women need to know that it’s not a necessity to be a mother. Not every woman wants to be a mom. Just like not everyone can be a teacher, doctor, nurse, lawyer, bus driver, sanitation worker, politician, cops, firefighter, pilots, athletes, etc.”
“64 and child free by choice! Never regretted my decision. I’ve had a super happy life - with a lot more fun to be had!””
“No maternal instincts. No desire. No regrets. Cheers.”
“She speaks for so many of us. My very best lifelong friends didn’t know how to attempt to understand my choice to not be a wife or a mother. And society at large hasn’t yet figured out how we could have chosen such a life. Cheers to the women who survived all the scrutiny and questions.”
What stands out most in these responses is the clarity. People are finding language for choices they’ve long felt but rarely named, and there’s power in that. Whether you saw yourself in these comments or simply learned something new, this is a reminder that there is no single “right” way to build a life. When we make space for folks to speak openly and without apology, we create conversations that are more honest.
There is strength in naming your choice — and pride in standing comfortably in it.
Alysia Christiaen
Creator of CFW² and a child-free woman.
